“It’s not that I don’t love you…” (though I don’t).
“It’s not that I don’t like you…” (though I don’t).
“It’s just that… I don’t know what I want” (but clearly it isn’t you).
Well, there’s one thing you do know, right?
Why go in circles just to say it? “I don’t want to be with you anymore” sounds awful—but is leaving the other person to guess supposed to sound better?
“You deserve better.”
How thoughtful. What if the other person was perfectly happy with what they had? Do they also have to be grateful that someone else made the decision for them?
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Sure. But if it hurts, are they allowed to say so? Or do they also have to comfort the person who just left them?
“We need to talk”
Some breakups demand a lot of focus from the person doing the breaking up, so they don’t trip over their own explanation—and a lot of cooperation from the person being broken up with, so they can keep pretending this is a “conversation.”
They have to understand, not get angry, not think badly of you… You might as well hand them the instructions before you begin.
“You’re just a little…”
Then there are those truths delivered with a “just,” an “a little,” an “it’s not that bad, don’t make such a big deal out of it.”
If something is said quietly, with a little diminutive attached, is it somehow less true? Does it hurt less? What if you say it with a smile?
“Something’s missing…”
The phrase seems to leave the door open. But is it open for a conversation—or for the other person to keep searching for whatever you say is missing?
A lo mejor falta amor. O ganas. O saber decirlo. O saber cerrar la boca a tiempo… No siempre es fácil distinguirlo, sobretodo para quien habla, y habla, y habla…
Sometimes someone needs to leave their partner so they don’t abandon themselves. But do they also need their partner to say it’s a wonderful idea? That they’re delighted with the decision? Should we celebrate?
Still, it would be thoughtful if the one left (alone) said something nice about the one leaving (happily).
And of course, they shouldn’t mind picking up the check. Obviously!
Watch “Something’s Missing…”
A microcomedy for anyone who’s heard these lines—and anyone convinced theirs were much more original. And much more sincere, naturally.
And if any of them sound familiar, don’t worry: they sounded much better when you said them.
Thinking about your ex? Before you get sad, press play. You’ll laugh. Then you can send it to them.
Eva
AnyWayEva · Words · Music · Stage · anywayeva.com · @anywayeva
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